PDF Ebook Intellectual Foreplay: A Book of Questions for Lovers and Lovers-to-Be, by Eve Eschner Hogan
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Intellectual Foreplay: A Book of Questions for Lovers and Lovers-to-Be, by Eve Eschner Hogan
PDF Ebook Intellectual Foreplay: A Book of Questions for Lovers and Lovers-to-Be, by Eve Eschner Hogan
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Amazon.com Review
"What should you ask someone before you get seriously involved?" Eve Eschner Hogan wondered while she was starting a long-distance relationship with her future husband, Steve Hogan. Intellectual Foreplay is designed to spark stimulation and interest through intimate communication. "Like its physical counterpart, [it] can build excitement and desire--or quickly reveal a lack of compatibility, saving you months, or even years, of developing a relationship that isn't going to work," say the authors. It's an interesting concept: questions to ask to determine compatibility or just get to know a lover or potential lover better. The book starts with "Who Are You?" questions covering a myriad of topics, such as self-esteem, values, hobbies, trust, romance, spirituality, health, and time management. Other sections include "Where Did You Come From?" (past, family, friends, education, and intelligence), "Where Are You Going?" (money, work, and future), "Can We Live Together?" (home, household responsibilities, food, bathroom, pets, vehicles, garden), and "Where Are We Going?" (vacations, holidays, children, wedding, and sex). Some questions will strike you as significant and others as unsubstantial--choose the ones that intrigue you. Tips for using the questions productively are peppered throughout the book. For example, figure out your top 20 "non-negotiable" questions and answer them yourself before asking them of a partner. It's an interesting spin on relationship deepening, and will certainly spark conversation. --Joan Price
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Product details
Paperback: 273 pages
Publisher: Hunter House (January 20, 2000)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0897932773
ISBN-13: 978-0897932776
Product Dimensions:
5.8 x 0.8 x 8.8 inches
Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.2 out of 5 stars
86 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#52,293 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book is a good relationship book: It strengths would be geared towards more for couples to do before they either choose to move in or get married. As it really explores the more serious sides to relationships finances, work priorities, family obligations and friendship dynamics, both separate and mutual. As well as exploring your relationship goals: marriage minded, children etc....It really is not for those in the earlier stages of a relationship, it doesn't really apply to long -distance relationships very well at all. As my boyfriend and I soon learned. There are questions that can be answered hypothetically and you can gain some insight to your partner that way. Other questions are just not applicable to long distance relationship.For those reasons I would highly recommend the book to some couples and not so much for others.
My new introvert boyfriend showed me this book. We answered every single question in the book together before deciding to get engaged. That was 6 years and a kid ago. I can honestly say there have been no surprises and we truly enjoy each other. I recommend this book to EVERYONE who wants to deepen their relationship or figure out if he/she is the right one!
People are freaked when they hear the title. But, the focus is to challenge yourself to establish your values (core and flexible) as well as finding out what your partner (or potential partner) wants in a relationship.Whether on a first date, rearing children, empty nesters, or helping others (such as your own children) go through the process of communicating and sharing your thoughts and feelings as to what is important to you and your future, this book is a great tool.I got this for my wife, and my three teenage girls for Christmas. I even brought it out at our family Christmas party and read through some of the questions and EVERYONE was interested(even my parents!)I was mostly considering this book for the girls as I want them to be thoughtful in the relationships they choose. I don't want them to "fall in love" and then "fall into divorce" like I did because we weren't compatible.Even if you are already married (as I am again), you can read together and discuss what is important to each other.A definite must for EVERYONE!
This book is good for what it is, but if you get down to it, the real measures of relationship compatibility can't be seen by answering questions. The questions in this book remain mostly surface level - does he/she clean as much as I do? There are some value-based questions, which is good, but who is to say we understand ourselves enough to answer those honestly? Even unintentionally we end up lying. I think it's best to use this book as a companion, rather than a fool-proof solution to figuring out compatibility. Ask some of the questions that matter to you, but leave the ones you'd rather see played out in the real world for just that - the real world.
No matter how much you think you know about your significant other... IF you are Ready for a SERIOUS relationship... THIS IS REQUIRED - prior to any commitments!!! Although - it is also great for any current relationship as well.... I highly recommend this book - it is a wonderful way to discover who YOU are and who you are getting into relationship with. Are you compatable or is this the question that the answer will be the deal breaker? I LOVE IT.... and have bought several as gifts.
My husband and I borrowed this book from a friend when we were first starting to date. Instead of watching a movie, we would pull out the book and ask each other questions. I'm convinced that this book helped lay a VERY solid foundation for our relationship. It is not my #1 piece of "advice" I give to newly engaged couples as they prepare for marriage. This was especially helpful in starting discussions on things we often take for granted or are uncomfortable discussing. This book covers just about every area of life, from childhood memories to views about money, household chores, kids, etc. The chapter on sex was VERY enlightening, as it opened discussion about something neither of us had been comfortable talking about.I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone in a relationship, or wanting to be in a relationship.
This is the second time I bought this book...the first time I gave it as a gift and the couple loved it!...so I bought one for myself!
The new girlfriend recommended this and it has generated conversation that may never have happened. It also started conversation that opened opportunities and created bonding that caused security in a new relationship.Using this tool you will find out sooner if you continue and move forward or cut and run. I found a keeper and will continue to use it as a tool to enhance communication.
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